Jellicles do Shakspeare
by loveydovey14
Summary: I was watching the Animaniacs do this on some episodes on Youtube, and I thought I'd do the same with the Jellicles!
1. A Midsummer Night's Dream

**I just love to mix CATS with Animaniacs! What's funny about how the Warner siblings translated these is that they're actually almost accurate.**

**Animaniacs is owned by WB and CATS is obviously ALW's and TSE's.**

**Enjoy! As always, no rude reviews.**

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><p>(We enter a forest, where Munkustrap is in the Puck's costume, sitting in a tree, and Bombalurina is in a bubble off to the side)<p>

_And now, the Jellicles, in a scene from William Shakspeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Translated by Bombalurina, for those readers who, like Munkustrap, have no idea what he's saying._

*Munkustrap* Hmph!

*Bombalurina* Teeheehee!

*Munkustrap* If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended.

*Bombalurina* If the actors in our show made you mad, it'll be okay if you look at it this way.

*Munkustrap* That you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear.

*Bombalurina* You fell asleep on your butt and dreamed the whole thing!

(Tugger enters the forest in a toga, and starts to pick flowers from a bush)

*Munkustrap* And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding, but a dream.

*Bombalurina* There was a hole in the plot you could drive a truck through.

(Fairies Cassandra, Exotica, Rumpleteazer, and Tantomile pop out of the bush. Rumpleteazer wacks Tugger with a flyswatter. Tugger angrily growls and shoots water from a hose at them.)

*Munkustrap* Gentles, do not reprehend.

*Bombalurina* Honeys, don't blame us. You could be watching Oprah.

*Munkustrap* If you pardon, we will mend.

*Bombalurina* But we're sorry, and we promise our next show will be full of funny skits.

(Fairy Demeter rises out of the bush.)

*Tugger* HELLOOOOO PIXIE!

(Demeter runs, with Tugger in hot pursuit)

*Munkustrap* And, as I am an honest puck,

*Bombalurina* I'm not touching that one.

*Munkustrap* If we have unearned luck, now to scape the serpent's tongue,

*Bombalurina* What he said.

*Munkustrap* We will make ammends a long!

*Bombalurina* We'll buy you footlong hotdogs!

*Munkustrap* Else the puck a liar called, so goodnight unto you all! (Blows smooch)

*Bombalurina* Goodnight everybody!

*Munkustrap* Give me your hands if we be friends.

*Bombalurina* Applaud if you like us.

(Demeter angrily marches up behind Tugger. Tugger offers her a flower. Demeter swats him with a HUGE flyswatter, but Tugger runs.)

*Munkustrap* And Robin shall restore ammends!

*Bombalurina* And the boy wonder will save us!

(Tugger runs up to them. Bombalurina hops out of her bubble as Demeter catches up. The Batmobile appears, the three get inside, and it speeds off, leaving Demeter spinning.)

*Demeter* Oh, what fools these Jellicles be!


	2. Hamlet

**Hamlet act 5, scene 1. Enjoy! Again, from an Animaniacs episode.**

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><p>(We enter a graveyard, Asparagus is standing in Hamlet's clothes. Skimbleshanks is in the background digging a hole. Jennyanydots is in a bubble off to the side)<p>

_And now, the Jellicles, in a scene from Shakespeare's "Hamlet". Translated by Jennyanydots for those readers who, like Asparagus, have no idea what he's talking about._

*Asparagus* Hmph!

*Jennyanydots* Teeheehee!

(Asparagus spots Skimbleshanks pulling out a skeleton. He runs over and takes the skeleton back to where he was standing.)

*Asparagus* Alas, poor Yorick!

*Jennyanydots* Whoa, check out skullhead.

*Asparagus* I knew him Horatio. A fellow of infinite jest of most excellent fancy.

*Jennyanydots* He was funny.

*Asparagus* He hath borne me on his back a thousand times.

*Jennyanydots* He gave me piggy-back rides.

*Asparagus* And now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it!

*Jennyanydots* I'm going to blow chunks.

(Skimbleshanks pull a giant squid out of the hole and tosses it aside.)

(Asparagus kisses the skeleton.)

*Asparagus* Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft.

*Jennyanydots* We kissed alot. NOT!

(Skimbleshanks pulls out a car and pushes it away.)

*Asparagus* Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the tables on a roar?

*Jennyanydots* How come you're not funny now?

(Skimbleshanks pulls out a rocket and it blasts off.)

*Asparagus* Not one now, to mock your own grinning? Quite chap-fallen?

(He shakes the skeleton, and the jaw bone falls off.)

*Jennyanydots* No one's laughing now, and by the way, you're lower jaw's missing.

(Skimbleshanks pulls out Jellylorum. Jelly screams and hits Skimble on the head. She runs away.)

*Asparagus* Now, get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch-thick, to this favor she must come! Make her laugh at that.

(He throws the skeleton. It starts to chase Jellylorum.)

*Jennyanydots* Follow that woman and tell her no matter how much make-up she wears, she's still gonna croak and end up looking just like you, and see if she laughs.

(Asparagus walks over to Skimbleshanks.)

*Asparagus* Prithee Horatio, tell me one thing:

(Jenny gets out of her bubble.)

*Jennyanydots* What did you find in the hole?

*Skimbleshanks* Our next chapter!


	3. Macbeth

**Macbeth, the witches scene.**

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><p>(We enter a cave where Cassandra, Rumpleteazer, and Tantomile are stirring a large black cauldron and wearing witches' hats. Coricopat is in a bubble off to the side.)<p>

_And now, Cassandra, Rumpleteazer, and Tantomile in the famous witches scene from William Shakespeare's "Macbeth". Translated by Coricopat for those readers who, like Cassandra, Rumpleteazer, and Tantomile, have no idea what they're saying._

*Cassandra, Rumpleteazer, and Tantomile* (Confused looks)

*Coriocopat* (Smugly grins)

*Cassandra, Rumpleteazer, and Tantomile* Double, double toil and trouble. Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

*Coricopat* Loosely translated, that means "abracadabra".

*Tantomile* Fillet of a fenny sanke, in the cauldron boil and bake.

*Coricopat* Let's cook a snake! Start with my agent.

(Mungojerrie runs in and tosses Coricopat's agent in the cauldron.)

*Tantomile* Eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog.

*Coricopat* Sounds like camp food to me.

(Mungojerrie tosses in a newt, a frog, Batman, and a pollicle.)

*Cassandra* For a charm of powerful trouble, like a hell-broth, boil and bubble!

*Coricopat* (Yawns) Stir until bored, serves twelve. Unless you're Rush Limbaugh, then it's an appetizer.

*Cassandra, Rumpleteazer, and Tantomile* Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

*Coricopat* Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, here's another fun recipe!

*Rumpleteazer* Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf, witches' mummy, maw and gulf.

(Mungojerrie throws in a dragon and a wolf.)

*Coricopat* Those are the ingredients of a hotdog!

*Rumpleteazer* of the raven'd salt sea shark,

(Mungojerrie throws in a shark)

*Rumpleteazer* Root of hemlock,

(Mungojerrie starts dancing in a cheerleader uniform and waves pom-poms.)

*Coricopat* GOOOO HEMLOCK!

*Rumpleteazer* Digg'd i'the dark.

*Coricopat* (rapping) Digg'd i'the dark is a guest! Baby can you dig it?

(Mungojerrie throws the pom-poms in.)

*Cassandra, Rumpleteazer, and Tantomile* Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!

*Coricopat* Hocus-pocus, when do we eat?

(The cauldron explodes. Coricopat gets out of his bubble.)

*Coricopat* Hey, what'd we come up with? Hash?

*Cassandra* Corndogs?

*Tantomile* Fondue?

(Everyone looks in the cauldron and gasps.)

*Tantomile* By the pricking of my thumbs, something scary this way comes!

(In a burst of flames, The Rum Tum Tugger pops up playing his bagpipes. Everyone plugs their ears. Rumpleteazer hit him back inside with a mallet, Cassandra and Tantomile throw in two bombs, and Mungojerrie puts the lid on and locks it shut. The cauldron erupts in to the sky.)

*Coricopat* Aaahhh, let's send out for pizza.

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><p><strong>Well, thank you for reading. I hope this helped any lazy English students who had trouble learning what everything ment. Review! Now!<strong>


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